Tuesday, September 19, 2006

An End of Things As Well As A New Beginning.

Life has been brimming continually as summer has now all but gone completely. I have found time here and there to think about people, places and things. Basically, I have done some pre-Fall cleaning of sorts for the soul. And you'd be amazed of what I found and conclusions I made.

In the beginning of Walking Wounded, which will approach its two-year anniversary very soon, my life was very much suffering from a type of blunt trauma if you will. I was hit with a seemingly unseen punch on top of a hit I had seen coming for some time in advance. I think of the "anchor" punch Ali brought upon Liston - spectators had a hard time seeing a punch thrown at all. But the result made history nonetheless. It would not be until after footage of the epic match-up was examined that Ali indeed hit Liston with a punch he did not see coming, leaving the bigger, stronger Liston on the canvas. This is an excellent example of hindsight almost always being 20/20.

I guess you could say that in my own special way I have been Liston. I got hit with a punch I did not see coming, fell for a bit, got up and eventually looked back at the tape to see exactly what happened. Yep, I got knocked out, that's not in doubt. But what did I learn from this experience? Plenty!

Walking Wounded has served as a place for me to share the whimsical as well as crucial parts of my life in order for me to deal with where I came up short and deal with the ever eminent fear of loss. The loss of a loved one AND the loss of a lover. Two unique events that were connected in a deep, dim and murky way. As the understanding of those events was shaping itself, I felt encouraged to share other parts of my life that were more or less benign and unobtrusive. Not only did this prevent me from sinking into a depressive abyss of emotional pain, but allowed others who happened by to peak into my life (ME, really) and see what exactly makes me tick. It didn't take long for me to realize that despite being knocked out, I still had a widening attention span for my continuing life and events that shape life. With scraped knees and I got back on the bike and pedaled madly to get the wind blowing through my hair once again. Needless to say, the wind has been blowing now for nearly 18 months and shows no sign of stopping!

So in essense, "Walking Wounded" no longer fits me as a persona or a conceptualization of my present life and well being. I am no longer walking wounded in life but walking taller with a more confident stride and definitely bright-eyed once again towards a world just two years ago would have seemed gloomed and doomed. I have taken part in the bittersweet symphony again as an active player, fleet of foot and ready for what lies around the corner. I find that I am able to read again with retention and have taken a keen interest in politics as of late - something I had become disenfranchised with a decade ago. I'm living in a not-so-new state and city too, mind you. Lincoln, NE has welcomed me with open arms and the people whom I've had the pleasure of meeting throughout this past year have been a great network. Of course, my crew (or should I say my CORE) from back home have always been there and have been an immense comfort for me during the whole transition. The definition of friend is a person who sticks around and is there for you throught thick and thin, good and bad and all moments in between. To Mike I., Mike P., Morgan F., Kenny H., and Mike M. I owe an awful lot!

So without further ado, I am hereby announcing the end of Walking Wounded. This doesn't mean that I am not going to blog anymore, it simply means that I am at the stage where I need to take a whole new direction in my assessment of my life, the world around me and my experiences with people. It's time for a fresh look, a clean(er) slate.

Soon I will announce the new blog with URL as soon as I am finished ironing out the wrinkles a bit. Until then, I want my readers to be well and hope to see you on my new space shortly.