Monday, April 04, 2005

If Only This Were True...

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Then things would be a lot easier on my real heart!

Today was a day of phone calls, little errands and something important to do. First, I woke up on the coach again this morning after falling asleep watching a movie I cannot remember the name of. I hate sleeping on the coach but find myself doing it every now and then because I basically do not listen to my own body when it says GO TO BED! Plus, the TV is kind of like having others in the house with me even though I am alone. Sounds weird but sometimes being by myself is a blessing and a curse. Anyway, I wake up all contorted and my back in a twist. In other words, a real pain in the ass! So that's how my day started.

Number one on my To Do list was to go to Calverton National Cemetery to visit Pop's grave. Today was Pop's birthday and I thought it would be a good idea to go up and see how his plot looked and to pay respects. Last time I was there, during Christmas to place a wreath down, the area looked like a war zone. Real muddy and lots of open graves. Today it was a bit better esthetically speaking. Not too much in the way of lawn but the ground was not nearly as muddy. They had begun leveling off the area around Pop's section with a shallow layer of sand in preparation for some seeding. One thing I would like to do (preferably this fall if I am able to) is to plant some crocus bulbs randomly around his headstone. This way in the early spring (right around his birthday) he will have a little burst of color. The Crocus will spread slowly and remain low to the ground so that they won't cause too much of a hassle for the grounds personnel. I felt better after going to his grave and making sure things were alright.

Next, when I got back home I needed to call the Ford Dealership in my area to schedule an appointment so that I could get two recalls taken care of. Something about a rear bolt for the power seats and a speed control cable. Best to take care of this stuff in due time this way I won't depart the earth early. The one bitch is that the Ford dealership won't provide me with a loner car even though they said they will have the car for a few hours. At least I could have made a stop to a few places I have to go in the same town. Alas, I will be stuck at the dealership for the duration. Hopefully, they have an outlet in the waiting area I can plug my laptop into so that I am not totally out of my mind.

***Woe, stop the press! I wonder if I can have the recalls handled at any Ford dealership, not just the one where the truck was bought??? I'll have to call tomorrow to find out so that I can go to Patchogue Ford which is right around the corner from my house. If I'm going to be without a car for a few hours I might as well be home! Shit, I'm slipping a bit. LOL***

The Cop was off today and after he finished doing some shopping for a new bedroom set he stopped by the house so we could both go to Ultimate Fitness to sign his ass up. This was the third and final item on my To Do list. We both want to start working out together once again after not being able to since he joined the force (my lord, he is in his seventh year already). Time flies way too fast! Since he moved back to Patchogue where we grew up it will be convenient for us to work out after he gets home during the evening. He does a split routine where he does cardio in the morning and weight lifting at night. So this works well for me as I was at one time doing the same split routine. I'm pretty buzzed about getting started tomorrow night, especially since my Volley ball league has had the past two weeks off due to the holidays. I'm not happy unless I am participating in some sort of sport!

One thing I didn't expect was to receive a call from Melissa while on our way to Ultimate Fitness. Its hard talking to someone who is clearly not concerned with your feelings, especially since some of them still linger. In retrospect, as I think back to how she changed, the type of person she is now, the type of people who she has associated herself with and the choices she has made, I find it harder and harder to feel sorry for her. I mean I went through enough shit feeling sorry for myself while she was in Hawaii for a month with Douche Bag and I should never have done that to myself. I thank God I had the support of my friends to help me see through the shit storm she created after she left. Besides, it's safe to say she doesn't want me (of all people) to feel sorry for her except if it suits her. I guess its just the way I am built. Usually guys have the stonier hearts and girls have more compassionate hearts, but it's the other way around for me. Sometimes it angers me when I realize that even though Melissa will be a source of emotional burden to greater and (hopefully) lesser extents as time goes on, I truly wish she would stop being a financial burden. Like I've always said, things have been complicated, especially in light of the choices she has made since leaving New York. I just hope eventually she will realize this and do the right thing for me instead of for practically everyone else she comes across.

Hopefully, the rest of the week will not be so melancholy...