Thursday, November 25, 2004

What a dreary Turkey Day!

Upon rising this morning I immediately put the Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV. This has been a customary practice of mine for many years. I enjoy watching the performers, floats and the balloons especially. The weather guys did say there would be a good chance for a real wet Turkey Day and boy were they on the money. I couldn't help but change the channel as it dawned on me that I would not have anyone to watch the parade with. Perhaps I can return to this tradition in the future. Right now in light of recent events I do not feel quite up to the Holiday spirit. I guess deep down I am eagerly looking forward to 2004 ending. This would come as no surprise to those of you who are aware of how the year has treated me so far. 2004 can take a flying fuck in plain english!

At least I have my dog Caesar here to talk to. I think he has realized what has happened in his own way because he is being much more clingy, following me around the house and generally being underfoot. I don't really mind the added attention. I talk to Caesar at times like he is capable of participating in a conversation. Watching his head cock to the side whenever I say something profound makes me chuckle because at times people do the same thing. So I don't feel too bad.

I made up my mind to stay here at the house for Thanksgiving allowing me some time to be alone and meditate on things that have happened and what I need to take care of in the upcoming weeks. Yes, my father did offer to bring me to my aunt's for dinner. My uncle also stated I was more than welcome at their house for dinner. I decided that I needed some time away from people after the funeral. Hopefully this will help me squash some more demons still lingering around in my mellon. This probably will become less of a challenge in upcoming weeks and months.

Another big decision I have made is that I will not be celebrating Christmas this year other than sending out Christmas cards. I do enjoy having a Christmas card list and sending out cards. I tend to write extra comments and cheers in each one. I feel that it makes the whole thing more intimate with friends and family. I will be making out my card early this year so that I can knock out both the "thank you" and X-Mas cards in the same week. Along with continuing to clean up the house and preparing it for viewing, this will help me get my mind off of things and look forward to future endeavors. The general consensus among those who care say I should get back on the horse so to speak and keep busy. This will help in light of the fact that, with Melissa gone home, I am in this house all by myself. At times the walls feel like they are closing in around me. To tell you the truth, I cannot wait until I move even though it won't be until sometime in February.

In the meantime, I will start sorting out the house and trying to get rid of the stuff I know I cannot sell or donate. It still feels like there is so much junk in here with just myself around. Actually, sans Pop's items and clothing, much of Melissa's stuff is still here. I know that it will be much cheaper to give them to her after I move. This way I won't have to be bent over the barrel paying shipping charges on some of the over-sized items. One good thing is that I plan on eliminating furniture that I will not need for the next two months or so. Once the house does close, I won't have to worry about finding a home or getting rid of left over items. The only thing that will be left will be the items I will be taking to my new apartment and Melissa's things, which I can always place in storage temporarily until she is ready to receive them.

Sounds good so far. Well that's enough of a break anyway. Got to get back to laundry and watching FA Cup Football on FSW. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and don't worry about going a bit overboard with the stuffing and eat plenty of turkey for me!