A Welcomed Weekend Diversion Part Two
H-Bomb decided to leave his whip at the Brick House so we could all ride together. I have an SUV so it is cool, we could continue to chat it up on the way. I started heading west from Patchogue on Montauk Hwy and just continued as we chatted it up about dinner and about some crazy things H-Bomb and I have done with the crew. Speaking of the "crew" I will have to dedicate a spot on here to them in the future. Anyway, back to post-Brick House antics. H-Bomb and I began telling Tiffany about one night when we all loaded up in his brothers Lincoln LSC to try and find "midgetville." Turns out there is a private gated community on Long Island (built some time in the '50s I think) made up of homes built for little people. This community has been an urban legend here on Long Island for over 50 years. That night we set out to find it but never made it as we were pulled over by a police vehicle patrolling the neighborhoods of Oakdale, New York. We were pulled over and after whipping up a quick story about how we were looking for a party but lost the address, we were kindly directed back to Montauk Hwy and simply gave up that night.
A few years later I started my graduate program at Dowling College which is located in Oakdale. I became familiar with the neighborhoods south of Montauk Hwy in Oakdale because I used to drive down by the water to either read or catch up on assignments between classes. If time permitted I would try to find new spots to park by the water. Eventually I came upon this gated community and decided to pull in so I could see if it ended up taking me to the bay where I could park. Soon I began to take note on how small the houses were compared to the vehicles parked next to them and it dawned on me that I had finally found the so-called "midgetville." As I began making my way deeper in to the community I began to see people in there yards and getting in and out of there cars. Not all of the people were little people and I figured perhaps the neighborhood was not considered such a haven for them because of the decades of school kids basically terrorizing the little people. I used to hear stories way back in high school about kids being able to hop right onto the roof and be able to jump from roof top to roof top, like something out of the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Now I had seen in broad day light how close the houses were to each other. You would have to be an Olympic caliber long jumper to be able to jump from roof top to roof top, even though you could easily hop up onto the roof from the ground.
With this all in mind, we decided to go out to midgetville that night to show Tiffany because she said she had never seen it. After a fifteen minute drive we were there and we pulled in. Its funny how streets and landmarks look so different at night. It was as if this was a new place I had been. Instantly, H-Bomb and tiffany were amazed at the size of the houses compared to the size of the vehicles parked outside them. Tiffany couldn't stop laughing but I could also sense that she was a little nervous that we were going to be pulled over. As we were slowly driving down the streets I rolled my windows down. I could hear that some of the homes must have had guests over because you there was lots of loud talking and music playing. H-Bomb wondered what all the homes could be celebrating. Tiffany and I had no idea. One of the things that was eerie about the place was the lack of street lights which made many roads very dark. From the road you could see people looking out of their windows when they saw the head lights of my truck. Taking this into account and figuring that it would only take one call from a little person to send the cops our way, I decided to head on out of the neighborhood. When we reached the main entrance the gate was padlocked shut. This immediately made H-Bomb uncomfortable. He had said earlier in the evening that he was having muscle spasms from a pulled oblique muscle, and he was starting to feel it now of all times. Tiffany began to voice her concern about how we were going to get out.
At first, I thought I would just go off-road and see if there was a way to get back to Montauk Hwy through the woods. After a second thought I didn't do it because I figured the worse that could happen was I would get the truck stuck, and that would be harder to explain to the cops. All three of us checked our cell phones and none of us had a signal (way to go Sprint, AT&T and Verizon). I started to drive back into the community to see if they had anything posted on how to open up the gate in case you wanted to get out. It instantly dawned on me that every occupant of the community must have their own key to get in and out. Then I thought out loud that it was very odd that we were only here about fifteen minutes (maybe twenty, tops) and someone would close the gate. Unless they were looking to catch us in here after calling the cops. I grew concerned and asked H-Bomb if we should go back to one of the houses who was having a party and see if they would let us out. H-Bomb thought we would be in for it because if little people answered the door they might yell at us for being there in the first place. I convinced him that if he told them we were looking for a "secluded place" to park that it would be looked at as an honest mistake. So, we pulled up to a house that was obviously having a party because of the loud music and carrying on. H-Bomb got out and went to the door. Tiffany at this point was extremely nervous, so I reassured her that if they were giving him a problem I would go up to them too for back up.
Well, as H-bomb was greeted at the door I immediately hearing a voice start to interrogate him. So I hopped out of the truck and headed on over. Turns out the occupants of the house were not little people! But boy were they high off their tits as the ganja smoke kept billowing out of the door as H-Bomb and I stood there. Apparently, the woman that answered the door was immediately on the defensive because she thought we were complaining about the noise and carrying on. When H-Bomb told her we were locked in she then proceeded to interrogate him asking him who he was looking for, why he was here, etc. More people came to the door and were nicer about the situation, and actually joked with us about it after I told them the whole "rehearsed" story (I mention nothing about midgetville). The soberest dude in the lot offered to follow us to the gate to let us out. As H-Bomb and I got back into my truck and this chick came up to my window and asked me what was going on here. I told her what we told the other people and she said she was the one who closed the gate behind us! Turns out that the community has a curfew for student guests at 12:30am and she assumed that when we came rolling in that we belonged there and locked up the gate. We all had a chuckle about this as she explained that the "special" residents and the student guests share the community, whereby certain rules applied. The house we pulled up to for help was an off-campus house for college students. I guess the housing in the community was cheap enough for those guys to have to stand hunched over while walking inside the house. I couldn't get over how low the ceiling was in the house we went up to. I guess if you are sitting or lying down you don't really know the difference.
On the ride home the three of us joked and laughed about the whole scenario. I'm actually still holding back laughter as I am writing this. Pretty eventful for a Friday night! I better cut this one off here as there is a lot of fat to chew.